Has anyone else had issues with members of their faith wanting cut rate or freebies???? Blowing steam!
In the last two weeks, I have had two different people that I used to go to church with, one of them 25 years ago, and the other about 15 years ago, from two different churches, and both of these people were asking me to make cakes for them for almost nothing. One wanted a wedding cake for her daughter for when they come back to my state (their original state which is where they came from) for her wedding and flat out told me that they were looking for a dirt cheap cut rate deal, and that neither her daughter nor she had any money to spend on this wedding. She told me she wanted the wedding cake as cheap as sheet cakes if that were possible, only in tiers. I ended up steering her towards Walmart, Sam's, and another grocery store that is a cut rate type store. I don't charge grocery store prices, nor do I want to get started now. I get the impression that since I am just a home baker and a church acquaintance, that these people may think I am going to give them a 'real deal'. As a home baker, I don't get discounts for any of my mixes or other ingredients or any of my tools, but I do believe that I put a lot of love and time into my cakes because I don't have cakes to do on a daily or even weekly basis, so I don't feel bad charging close to normal prices of most bakeries (not grocery stores) in my area for my cakes.
The other one was yesterday and this lady wanted a cake for this Sunday, 12" round for a tea party she was putting on for her daughters, and also she wanted a 3 tier fondant covered graduation cake all done in animal printsfor another daughter coming up in May, and a birthday cake coming up in March. She informed me that they just lost their car, and had to move into a rental because they were behind in their house payments and lost that too! I quoted my prices to her just as they stand without making any offers of a cut rate deal, and she gave me a 'chilly' No Thank You. Does anyone else run into this?? It absolutely appalls me when fellow members of a faith try to take advantage of another member in that same faith. Am I all alone out here on this? Has anyone anywhere had this same thing happen to them? It does not make sense to me. In my thinking, I want to bless those that are of the same faith as me-above and beyond! I do not know what motivates some people to take advantage so badly! Forgive me for my rant......I just had to blow some steam to some fellow cakers, who may understand what I am feeling here.
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Cake Blessings on
-
I absolutely know what you're talking about. However with me, and I hate to say it, but family and friends are the worst. When I quote them an average "going rate" price, they give me all sorts of reasons why they cant pay it (aka... sad stories-be it true or not) and they act like Ive asked for the last drop of blood in their body. Yet, it doesnt seem to bother them one tiny bit to go to the really high-end bakeries and pay higher amounts than I would had charged them to begin with. They also dont seem to take into consideration, or maybe they just don't care, that people who have home-bakeries work every bit as hard on their cakes and put just as much time into them, etc., as anyone else does... and more so if you're comparing that to grocery store prices. What makes it worse is the comments regarding how well they just love the flavors, textures, and designs that Ive done - "its the best Ive ever had", etc - yet they still expect 'freebies'. Please dont get me wrong - I do love to help people out. And yes, Ive given away a whole lot of cakes to those who I knew really needed a helping-hand. But generally speaking, for every inch I give, I loose 3 miles. There are also some whom Ive offered 'grocery store' prices for cakes that are FAR above what they could ever hope to get from a grocery store... and still... they get bent out of shape because I gave them a dollar amount at all instead of saying "free".
My other favorites are those who complain about prices in once sentence, and then in the next sentence they flat out ask me bring all of my supplies (pans and all) and "come over, show me how, and help me make it" - so they can make the same cake that they'd just asked me to quote them a price for, because they just can not see paying "that kind" of prices for cake... and they expect me to do that for free too, of course. Its like they act like I owe it to them to go & do that. (Sorry... like you, I honestly dont mean to rant... but it does really aggrevate me).
Anyway... This is (unfortunately) the attitude that Ive developed... and generally, the replies that I give to customers who 'expect freebies' are along these lines: "Would you expect to go to the dentist or doctor's office for free? Or how about having your house remodeled or get professional photo shoots done for free? No! And when you go to work, do you do that for free? No!... well, the fact is that people 'work' to earn money. So, Im no different than any one else who is doing a job and I deserve to be paid just as equally as anyone else deserves to be paid for the work that they do.
-
Permalink Reply by Linda Wolff on
-
Cake Blessings....thank God I have finally found someone who understands the frustration this creates. The first lady up above, I explained to her how one church man had ordered a three tier anniversary cake for him and his wife, knowing how much my quote was to him, and when he came to pick it up, he told me that he didn't have any money and like a big dummy, I let him have it anyway, even though I was infuriated. That was waaaay back in my very early decorating days-25 or so years ago. It was that man that made me decide that business was business and church was church and the two were not the same thing. I was out that entire cake. No deposit (which I have since learned to get) no payment on ingredients or my time. After I told her this, she was very understanding and admitted that she too encountered the same thing with her photography business. I was able to do the pricing here for her and let her know what was the least expensive, and she was grateful for that.
The second lady has had a bad reputation for 'abusing' her church family for handouts anyway, and when she gave me her sob story about all the things she had lost, I thought to myself, then why isn't she making these cakes herself to save money? And why was she having a tea party for her daughters that required a decorated cake? Don't get me wrong, I too have done a lot of free cakes for family and friends, and given away a lot of cakes for charity. But when someone blatantly tries to 'use' me, it just frustrates me to no end! Quite frankly, I start to second guess as to whether I am doing what God wants me to do or not, then by sticking to my guns.
Cake Blessings said:I absolutely know what you're talking about. However with me, and I hate to say it, but family and friends are the worst. When I quote them an average "going rate" price, they give me all sorts of reasons why they cant pay it (aka... sad stories-be it true or not) and they act like Ive asked for the last drop of blood in their body. Yet, it doesnt seem to bother them one tiny bit to go to the really high-end bakeries and pay higher amounts than I would had charged them to begin with. They also dont seem to take into consideration, or maybe they just don't care, that people who have home-bakeries work every bit as hard on their cakes and put just as much time into them, etc., as anyone else does... and more so if you're comparing that to grocery store prices. What makes it worse is the comments regarding how well they just love the flavors, textures, and designs that Ive done - "its the best Ive ever had", etc - yet they still expect 'freebies'. Please dont get me wrong - I do love to help people out. And yes, Ive given away a whole lot of cakes to those who I knew really needed a helping-hand. But generally speaking, for every inch I give, I loose 3 miles. There are also some whom Ive offered 'grocery store' prices for cakes that are FAR above what they could ever hope to get from a grocery store... and still... they get bent out of shape because I gave them a dollar amount at all instead of saying "free".
My other favorites are those who complain about prices in once sentence, and then in the next sentence they flat out ask me bring all of my supplies (pans and all) and "come over, show me how, and help me make it" - so they can make the same cake that they'd just asked me to quote them a price for, because they just can not see paying "that kind" of prices for cake... and they expect me to do that for free too, of course. Its like they act like I owe it to them to go & do that. (Sorry... like you, I honestly dont mean to rant... but it does really aggrevate me).
Anyway... This is (unfortunately) the attitude that Ive developed... and generally, the replies that I give to customers who 'expect freebies' are along these lines: "Would you expect to go to the dentist or doctor's office for free? Or how about having your house remodeled or get professional photo shoots done for free? No! And when you go to work, do you do that for free? No!... well, the fact is that people 'work' to earn money. So, Im no different than any one else who is doing a job and I deserve to be paid just as equally as anyone else deserves to be paid for the work that they do.
-
Permalink Reply by June Kowalczyk on
-
Linda, I totallly agree with your statement..... Church is Church....and Business is Business...you HAVE to separate the two. Yes that 2nd lady certainly had some nerve. As I was reading your comment, all I could think of is how the heck could she afford all these cakes...even a grocery store cake, when she can't pay her rent/mortgage whatever. She was either lying about her finances, or just plain stupid. Buy a cake mix & do it yourself. But as you said, she has taken advantage before. One of my dearest friends, her sister & husband are retired pastors. They were ALWAYS looking for freebies in everything. Really laid guilt trips on friends & family. I honestly don't think they knew how they came across, and how people were getting put off. They lost close husband & wife pastor friends in Florida. They told them point blank to their face that they were always looking for handouts, and were ungrateful when they got it, AND the "gravy train" was stopping here & now.
That was a huge pale of water in the face. They did amend their ways.
Trust me you KNOW when someone is really deserving of a kind gesture. Free cake, a cut in your price, doing just for ingredients...etc. As my Pastor says...you know in you knower.
-
-
After giving a price to church friends, have you been told anything along the lines of how they 'understand' that you're doing your cakes as a business, but then told how much God will bless you and your business above and beyond measure if you would just give them the cake for free? Ive been given that reply (by a lady who definitely can afford full price and didnt even pretend that she couldnt afford it) and I have to say, that one just pretty much left me speechless.
-
-
Yes! A pastors wife has told me that. In her words, it was something like: You are doing it unto the Lord.
-
-
Well Cake Blessings....as my Mom use to say..."It takes ALL kinds to make a world". Obviosly as christians we have character flaws. This woman certainly did. That is a good mone I will admilt...quoting scripture to get a freebie. But this is not unlike those friends I mentioned in the above post. They ACTUALLY believed what they were doing was OK. Different perspective. They believed God was here to bless, bless, bless me, me me & my family.
I wouldn't get into a "battle" of scripture, you will never win. What I would say, and still do is.... " I will pray about this" Or "I will do what Holy Spirit leads me to do". Or....slightly blunter..." Is this what God spoke to you regarding this"? That will stop them/her in their tracks. I can be sure she didn't "pray on it". They are just quoting scripture to lay a gulit trip on you. But say it in sincereity, smiling. Smiling & loving on someone like that makes THEM feel uncomfortable. Your'e not making them uncomfortable, it is the Holy Spirit is convicting them.
-
-
:) Thanks June... I finally ended up telling her that at that time I just couldnt financially afford to do it. She wanted a 3D design to serve roughly 100 people. She ended up going to a very high-end bakery and paying them several more hundred dollars than what I'd quoted her - and then was literally bragging about how much she'd spent, which just blew my mind.
Oddly enough, Linda, the lady who Im talking about is also a pastors' wife (but from a different church).
(p.s. just to clarify.... I truly dont mean any of this to sound nor be offensive in any way to "any" bakery nor any other person, etc. It just shocks me how they say my prices are too much, yet those same people will pay lots more - and then to brag about that, after they tried every way in the world to get me to cut my prices. And I honestly dont mean to sound "braggy" either but I know that the quality of cakes I produce is good because Ive watched, several times, when guests - generally being people I dont know personally - are presented with one of my cakes right along with something from 'high-end' bakeries, and there wont even be crumbs left of my cake, while the other is still sitting there half un-eaten, yet they come back asking if there's any more of the cake Ive made.)
-
-
Cake Blessings and June, I don't mean to sound like an old harp either or that I am Holier than thou. I just needed to get that off my chest as it does wear thin after awhile. The very people that you would think would support you end up being the ones that can only see how this may benefit themselves. On the good side of this experience though, is it causes me to look at those who do have their own business, whether they are Christians or not, and I purpose in my own heart to compliment them on their good work or product or whatever, and also, if there is a tip involved, tip above and beyond what would be expected. It kind of gives me the opportunity to cancel out the negative which has been done to me and turn it into something more positive.
-
-
Well....chalk it up to experience Cake Blessings!!!!! I have got to the point now, where instead of saying: "Why Lord does this sort of stuff always happen to me?".....to....."Ok Lord, what are you trying to teach me/show me?"
Who can figure out why she did what she did???? Doesn't make any sense. You will go crazy trying to figure it out. Just helps round out our character.
I had a very, going to say nasty, but uncomfortable is a better word, incident form my sis-in-law whom I am very close to. I made a cake for her co-worker. She got involved in the "critique" of my cake, to the point of saying she didn't think she could recommend me as a decorator anymore!!!!!! Trust me....I didn't see that one coming. I was VERY hurt, especially since it came from family.
I knew I just HAD to pray & give this one to God, cause otherwise, I was gonna blow and email/say something mighty nasty.
We are ALWAYS being tested. It is not the circumstances, but how we CHOOSE to react to those circumstances that define us. I had to wait several days & pray before I emailed my sis-in-law. I took the high road & thanked her for her input, saying we can all improve. I also emailed the customer & thanked her for choosing me and asked if she was satisfied, not letting on about my sis-in-laws "intervention."
No need to go into the details, but suffice to say, all worked out. But that "bruise" took awhile to heal, but surely will help me next time I encounter a similar situation. :0)
-
-
Very well said, Linda! :)
-
-
Very true, June. :) The more we live, the more we learn. Staying in peace is always the better option. Glad your situation all worked out well.
-
Permalink Reply by Deah on
-
I was going to stay out of this discussion but I can't any longer. While we would like to hold our fellow church folk to a different standard than others, the fact is the church folk you are with on Sunday are the same people you deal with on Monday. Just because we are church goers doesn't necessarily make us better or less susceptible to selfishness than the next person. We all have our struggles - some more obvious than others. But we ALL have something to deal with.
Bottom line for me - Give discounts ONLY when you want to give discounts - when needed or appreciated. Then, don't allow yourself to feel guilty or frustrated because you didn't bend to their wishes. Remember you are in control of your anger, guilt or frustration - not them.
Now, I'll step off my soapbox.
Popular Cake Searches
© 2024 Created by Theresa Happe.
Powered by
