What to do about this friend??

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Linda Wolff on August 27, 2012 at 2:26pm

Absolutely! I agree! That too has happened to me, Dee. It's tough when it comes to friends, isn't it? It's just my opinion, for what it is worth, but if you haven't set the standard, I would from this moment on, that your business is business and friendship is friendship, and the two do not mix. My best friend's husband owns his own heating and air conditioning business and never in all the years we have been friends, have I ever approached her or him for a discount. I wouldn't think of it. Nor do I think that friends should expect a discount from your cake business. Once it gets started, guess what? From then on, it will be expected. You may have to confront her and explain to her that your prices are set and that if she would like to do some shopping around and do some comparison pricing, she may do that. Yes, you take the chance that she will go with another baker, but in the process you are also establishing your prices for future customers. If she is a true friend, she will respect you for being honest.

Permalink Reply by Faith Gealey-Brown on August 27, 2012 at 2:40pm

I agree with Linda completely.  I would work out the price of the cake and grooms cake and provide her with an invoice.  Even though she is your friend, business is business.  If the price is not to her liking, then she is free to shop around but at least she knows what your prices are.  Even if I gift or discount a cake, I still provide the person with an invoice of how much it would have cost and include the discounted amount. I think it helps them to appreciate the true value of your work and makes them have a second thought before expecting something free. Good luck!

Permalink Reply by Dee Miller on August 27, 2012 at 2:41pm

Thanks, Linda.  I know what you are saying.  If a friend of ours performs a business service for us, we state up front that we expect to pay what everyone else pays - their regular rate or fee.   Just as you said, it is their BUSINESS and has nothing to do with our friendship.  I think you are right though,  that a confrontation (which I was so hoping to avoid) is inevitable so I might as well get it over with.  :(     I love my friends but sometimes they can be a real pain!  :)

Permalink Reply by Dee Miller on August 27, 2012 at 2:46pm

Thank you, Faith.  I think just an honest conversation about this is the only way to move forward.  Being so new at this, I really appreciate everyone on this site being so willing to answer my questions.   

Permalink Reply by art deco cakes by galidink on August 27, 2012 at 2:47pm

YOUR RITE , ! A DISCOUNT ON A WEDDING CAKE AND GROOMS CAKE ,? WELL NOW THATS A LOT FOR YOU TO BE GIVING AWAY !AS WE DONT MAKE ENUFF FOR OUR  HARD WORK ANY WAY ! THEY SHOULD NOT EXPECT A DISCOUNT ,

Permalink Reply by Linda Wolff on August 27, 2012 at 2:50pm

I do that too, Faith. I have the invoice all made out with the type of cake circled and the price it would have been had I charged them.

Faith Gealey-Brown said:

Even if I gift or discount a cake, I still provide the person with an invoice of how much it would have cost and include the discounted amount.

Permalink Reply by Dee Miller on August 27, 2012 at 2:56pm

That is a great idea!

Linda Wolff said:

I do that too, Faith. I have the invoice all made out with the type of cake circled and the price it would have been had I charged them.

Faith Gealey-Brown said:

Even if I gift or discount a cake, I still provide the person with an invoice of how much it would have cost and include the discounted amount.

Permalink Reply by Lisa Seidling on August 27, 2012 at 3:05pm

I have had this situation come up numerous times.  What I usually do is write up a contract just like I would do with any wedding/groom's cake with the full (non-discounted) price on it.  There is too much money involved to do the "let me know what I owe you" thing after the cake is already made - it could easily end up a bad situation or you won't get reimbursed.   If I want to give a discount then I will show the full price and then the discount deducted on the contract.  I also require a deposit just like any other client to cover supplies up front.  That way there is no confusion - I always tell them I am not able to discount wedding/groom's cakes as I do other simple occasion cakes because of the cost of supplies involved and especially the amount of time it takes to make a wedding cake.  Usually friends understand.  

The other thing I have done is to ask "how much do you want to spend on the cakes?"  That will open up the discussion for the cake price. 

Permalink Reply by Dee Miller on August 27, 2012 at 3:25pm

I like the "how much do you want to spend on the cakes?" line.  That would be an excellent starting point rather than an ending point!

Lisa Seidling said:

I have had this situation come up numerous times.  What I usually do is write up a contract just like I would do with any wedding/groom's cake with the full (non-discounted) price on it.  There is too much money involved to do the "let me know what I owe you" thing after the cake is already made - it could easily end up a bad situation or you won't get reimbursed.   If I want to give a discount then I will show the full price and then the discount deducted on the contract.  I also require a deposit just like any other client to cover supplies up front.  That way there is no confusion - I always tell them I am not able to discount wedding/groom's cakes as I do other simple occasion cakes because of the cost of supplies involved and especially the amount of time it takes to make a wedding cake.  Usually friends understand.  

The other thing I have done is to ask "how much do you want to spend on the cakes?"  That will open up the discussion for the cake price. 

Permalink Reply by art deco cakes by galidink on August 27, 2012 at 3:48pm

thats what i ask , how much$$ did you plan for a cake $$??? than give an est- on about for how many servings ,then go over all my figs and give them a true price !and i agree with Dee , ; )

Permalink Reply by Lisa Seidling on August 27, 2012 at 4:00pm

You would be surprised - I think most friends don't want to cheat you on price.  I did have one friend that surprised me with the answer to the "how much do you want to spend" question.  She said $200 for 200-225 servings!  After I explained to her that the supplies and ingredients, plus gas to drive the cake 30 miles to the venue would cost me at least that much.  I also explained that I would not be able to take any other orders for that day and that the designs she wanted were going to take me about 10-15 hours (bake to finish) - she admitted that she was pretty embarrassed with the $200 answer and just had no idea about the amount of time and materials that go into a wedding cake (which I think is the case with many people). 

Permalink Reply by June Kowalczyk on August 27, 2012 at 6:33pm

I agree Dee with all said. I ask what is your cake budget? Most don't have a clue what cakes cost. They look at lots of pics, even bring some with them. I show pics of cakes I have done & how much I charged. Gives them an idea of what cakes "actually cost." A friend of my daughters wanted a cake. I know she thought, hmmm, good friend, Mom does cakes.... gettin a deal. All Samantha said was, contact my Mom, I don't give quotes. Well she was looking for cheap, cheap. Could tell by the tone of her email. I Emailed her two pics with what I charged. She politely declined. She Emailed my daughter & as much as said.... it's just cake!! Oh my wonderful daughter. She said I made edible works of art, and I earned every penny doing so!!
Your friend will understand when you explain your time, talent & ingredients needed. They must realize this IS a business & NOT a charity.
True friends understand, & like Lisa said, wouldn't knowingly cheat you.
:0)

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